A Mother and Her Boys

This is my beautiful boy Brian.  He is now 12 years old, and this picture was taken just 16 months ago when our world was carefree. When seizures came but once a year . . . if that, and were not so disruptive when they came. But now, this Thursday January 10, 2013 he will be having a brain surgery to treat medically intractable seizures that have taken over his and our lives.  His neurosurgeon, world renowned Dr. Gary Mathern, has told us the amount of tissue he will be removing is extensive. And he kept stressing extensive. Brian will have a complete temporal lobectomy, sparing only the language areas. Usually they take the anterior 2/3, but the "bad" areas of Brian's brain extends through the entire temporal lobe, all the way back to the occipital lobe. And success is greatest when all the "bad" areas are removed. It seems Brian has Cortical Dysplasia, and his chances for seizure freedom after this surgery are 80%. But allowing your precious child to have a large section of his brain removed - terrifying.
And yet we have no alternative. This past year he has had an average of 55 seizures per month, the most seizures in 24 hours being 19 landing him in the PICU at UCLA.  He has gone from a straight A highly intelligent, very fast and funny young man to a very sick child with slow processing, impaired memory, decline in cognitive status, and word finding issues.  He has not been able to go to school since the end of March 2012, and the district has provided 5 hours/week in home teacher. Brian says he can't wait for the surgery so he can "Stop his seizures and get back to school with his friends".
2012 was the worst year for our family. I hope and pray that 2013 will bring health and healing for Brian. Three days before surgery his stomach is so upset he hasn't eaten all day, is retching, and is miserable. This is common for my Brian. Due to ictal vomiting, or the the medications? All I know is I want his strong, healthy and well hydrated before surgery - please dear God!!
So I am on my knees and sleep deprived as I try to help my child get better and place my child in the hands of a doctor who will literally hold his life and future in his hands. . .